Psychologists unexpectedly advised parents to quarrel in the presence of children

Quarrels moms and dads in the presence of children can be the basis strong adult relationships with kids. Such an unexpected and surprising statement was made by psychologists from the Universities of Washington and California. They have already published their scientific work in professional media and are awaiting feedback from the world scientific community.

Until that day, it was considered that the fragile psyche of a child can be traumatized by the emotions of parents who are scandalous. Therefore, the rule of quarrels appeared in many families, which sounds like this: "Only not with children."

A group of clinical child psychologists under the leadership of Sarah Waters found out that after such a quarrel, parents in a "whisper" usually have to hide their true emotions and strained their smile, to pretend that nothing happened. And this is exactly children are very sensitive and painful.

In the experiment, which became the basis for scientific conclusions, 108 adults took part. Their children were from 7 to 11 years old. Mom and Dad were asked to give a speech to the public. The public’s task was to react negatively to speech.

The protruding parent naturally began to be very stressed.

And then he needed to go to the next room, in which was his child. The task was to assemble a constructor together with the child. Half of the parents were allowed to be natural in expressing emotions, and the second half was forbidden to show their child their stress and negative feelings.

The constructor was to be assembled by parents who had no right to look at the instructions, and the children were forbidden to touch the parts, but were given instructions. Sons and daughters in fact came to lead the actions of moms and dads on the assembly. Such conditions created an atmosphere of work in which you need to be one team.

Hiding their negative emotions, mothers and fathers turned out to be the worst partners for their children - they were scattered, inattentive, often mistaken and nervous. Their kids perfectly felt the heated psychological situation and also interacted with adults with great difficulty.

Parents who honestly told the child before the assembly that they were offended, angry, disappointed, offended, quickly took themselves in hand and began to “cooperate” with the child normally - the houses from the designer were assembled faster and more correctly.

Psychologists explained that the child would still feel something was wrong if the parents quarreled in a whisper in the next room, but he would not find a reasonable explanation for the emotions that the parent would carefully hide. It will lodge in the soul of the baby uncertainty, suspiciousness, anxiety.

If parents do not hide their emotions from children, they will thereby simplify the task for the child, who will better learn to understand the feelings and emotions of their elders. Gradually, he himself will learn to express his emotions, without hiding anything, which will considerably simplify his life and improve his health.

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