Psychologists told how to punish children

Capital Children's Clinical Psychologists Prepared parenting note on punishment.

Do not punish the child can not, as well as punish incorrectly, experts say. Most Russian parents do not know the "golden mean" and either allow permissiveness and impunity, or are overly strict, which adversely affects the unstable children's psyche.

Supporters of the power model of education argue that "little was beaten" is the cause of all human vices. Opponents of such measures claim that the child should grow up in an atmosphere of love and forgiveness, even if the behavior of the child violates the rules of the family hierarchy.

With physical punishment, the child suffers, and disciplinary sanctions (bans, blackmail) is the deliberate deprivation of the child's right to choose in a given situation.

So that the punishments were useful, and not harmful for the child, so that they would not turn into a way of psychological relief for tired moms or dads, psychologists suggested observing the following rules:

• Satisfy child's natural need for protection - when he feels important and protected, he will be more obedient and most conflict situations can be solved with the help of a usual confidential conversation.
• Punishing a child it is important not to allow derogatory words, maintain respect for yourself and for the little man, let him feel that you respect him even when he did something wrong.

• Give the child feel their wrongs and its consequences. The consequence is not a punishment, but something that directly results from a bad act (for example, being late home, did not call - you are not able to plan time, it means you cannot walk with your friends in the yard while. I did not do my homework - do instead of cartoons before bedtime). Such a model will teach the child to think through independently the possible consequences of their actions.
• Even in a difficult situation, in a state of punishment the child must feel that his parents love him and very sorry for his deed.
• When a parent is angry and wants to scream or spank a child, you need all the forces to try to remain in the position of an adult, ask yourself the question "How old am I now?", take a deep breath and not do an impulsive act.

• Parental requirements must be consistent, constant and predictable. Mom and dad should have the same parenting concept.
• Punishment should be in proportion to misconduct and correlated with age. A two-year-old child doesn’t make sense to read lectures, and a teenager will not get away from the ban on eating sweets.
• You can not bully child - it makes him a liar.

The recommendations were issued in the form of a booklet and will soon be distributed among parents in kindergartens, schools and even in shopping centers.

The need for clarification arose in connection with increase in the number of children in whom serious forms of clinical depression are detected. When identifying the causes, it was found that in 80% of cases the problem lies in the nuances of family education.