What if the child does not want to learn? Useful advice from a psychologist
Most parents can say with certainty why their children do not want to go to school. Many of them are watching the picture, as their child is just lazy and sits all day behind tablet, and only attends school to chat with classmates and play games. Parents are horrified, not knowing what to do next. In fact, the solution to the problem is quite simple: they should find out why their child does not want to learn.
The reasons for poor performance
Responsibility for studies parents take
Sometimes the mother takes care of the baby unnecessarily, controls his steps, actions and words at all stages of his development. When a child grows up, enters the first grade and begins to learn, again the mother interferes with the learning process, collects a briefcase, sometimes makes lessons for him. Thus, it simply inhibits its independence and prevents becoming a schoolboy. In such situations, the child is deprived of the right to vote, because all parents will decide for him. In this situation, the desire to think and act is completely lost.
Parents should understand that help and attention are very much needed in the learning process, but it is worth going too far. Worse, when children begin to tightly control, that is, to give orders that he will carry out. As a result, in both situations, the child, of course, will lose the desire to learn, and some children will also be rude and in conflict.
The unfavorable situation in the family environment only contributes to isolation and anxiety, which reduces motivation in learning and slows down his mental activity.
Self-doubt, low self-esteem
Where does such a non-acceptance of a child come from? Many parents ask. The fact is that parents often project all their desires and expectations onto children. This is the most common mistake. By setting high goals and requests for the child, they do not notice that it is not interesting to him. And without having received a positive result, they show by all means their disappointment in the baby that they could not, did not live up to hope. And this can occur not only during school, but even earlier - in kindergarten.
Such a child feels anxiety, lack of confidence in his strength, guilt, he often says "I will fail," I am bad. " Also, if the child has defects in appearance or speech, of course, he will be shy to respond to the lessons.
Because of the peculiarities of the nervous system, such children are overwhelmed with energy, which prevents the successful learning of information. In the class they interfere with other children, get up during the lesson, wriggle, which naturally affects not only the studies and the attitude of the teacher.
School performance in primary classes is affected by the child’s dependence on games and walks with friends, at a later age children depend on the computer and tablet, and teenagers are addicted to bad habits. All this interferes with learning, and the task of parents is to pay attention to it in time.
Gifted but lazy
About these children often say "children - indigo." This is when a child has unique abilities from birth, and parents dream of his success. Such children are very smart, not by age, they usually read a lot of books, get information from various sources. Early start talking, reading and writing. Therefore, entering the school, they can safely say that they are not interested because they know everything. From here there is an unwillingness to study, the laziness overcomes.
Lack of interest in learning and school motivation
Educational schools adhere to this or that program in the learning process. It is useful and interesting for children, or vice versa boring and rustic. Each subject in school has its own teacher.
Students still do not know how to separate the concepts of "subject" and "teacher": if the teacher is not interesting, then they will not like the subject either.
It is extremely difficult to find such a school so that the entire teaching staff is creative and creative. To help your child learn, you need to take into account his interests. If the child has an idea of what he wants to become or what he will do, then there will be motivation, purpose and desire to learn.
Children who have various diseases, first, often miss school because of their ailments, and second, they sometimes like to feign such attacks, complaining of feeling unwell or a headache. All pity them and help, and the teacher makes concessions. Here, the child has a question, why learn, and after all, they will give a good mark.
The process of successful learning motivation still depends on the type of nervous system in a child.
We all remember that from birth, a child is dominated by one of 4 types of temperament:
- Phlegmatic person.
A child with a weak nervous system will be very difficult to learn, such children are hard times failures, they are tearful and are not sure of their actions and words. Therefore, interruption of work is important for them.
But children with a strong nervous system can fruitfully work, learn and withstand any mental workload of up to six lessons a day. Coming home, immediately sit down for lessons. They are most easily given the combination of study and visiting additional sections, unlike other children.
What should parents do in such situations
Experts believe that first-graders most often have the following fears and experiences:
- I will have an angry teacher.
- I can't make friends.
- How difficult to do the lessons.
First graders do not go to school, because they understand that they will have to wake up early and go to school, that their parents will criticize them for some grades.
- When parting with the child, hug the baby and say that you will come for him.
- Put a photo where you are together, in a briefcase, it will give him confidence in himself and remind you.
- Let him take any toy with him to school, sometimes children can play with them during breaks.
- Introduce the child to the school in advance. Approach the teacher together, let him smile and meet him and take him by the hand.
- Read the book "Forest School" M. Panfilov. In it you will find many stories and tales about school rules and paraphernalia.Empathizing with the fairy-tale characters, living with them the difficulties of learning and fears, children adapt to school more quickly. Each tale has its own games and exercises for different life situations that can be performed at home.
- Play the First Grader game. Let him try to collect in his portfolio all the necessary school subjects and explain why they are needed in school.
- Offer a variety of exercises on the development of fine motor skills and coordination "Patterns"; "Graphic dictations"; "Finish the animal."
- If you think your child is not ready enough for school, visit a psychologist, he will carry out a diagnosis of mental processes, after which he will hold educational activities and psychologically prepare for school.
- Rehearse how he will get up to school, collect a briefcase where clothes will hang. This will teach the child to independence.
- Use in your games and achievements a motivational benefit. Calendar of successes "Children's Week" I. Podolyak.
- Play as a teacher, let him do the task, and then check it yourself with a red pen, this can reduce anxiety before evaluations. Do not forget to discuss all the errors.
- Make a promise that you will not punish you for some grades, but first you will sort out the mistakes and teach him how to achieve a good result.
- After the first day of study, go with the whole family to the park, the cinema. Show that it is important for you that he has already grown up and went to school! Have a fun holiday, invite your friends!
Psychologists believe that schoolchildren at the age of 9-12 do not want to learn because of conflicts with teachers.
It was during this period that the first rudiments of character were laid. Therefore, it is difficult for them to make a choice between their own desires and the opinions of others, this provokes conflicts.
What should parents do
- Talk and find out what worries the child, and whether this anxiety is associated with the school.
- Visit the teacher, let him clarify to you the reasons for academic failure and help you decide what to do next.
- Sometimes the negative behavior of the child can be directly related to the atmosphere at home. After all, it is known that children are the mirror of a family. Try not to clear up conflicts in the presence of the child.
- Children should always be sure that they will receive support from you in any situation.
- Remind them of interesting cases from your school life, see photo albums.
- Praise the child for diligence and reward.
- Perform the following exercises, “My Portrait in the Rays of the Sun.” Let the child draw the sun, in the middle of him himself, and at the edges write all the positive features and virtues. This will give him confidence, show that there can be more rays.
- Play the "King (Queen) School" game. The child must imagine that the school is his kingdom, and only he can establish his own laws and orders here.
- Be careful with all children's experiences, learn to listen and understand it, take a positive attitude.
- Allow yourself to make a decision, choose which clothes to wear and what to do, let them learn to be responsible for their actions.
- If he complains about the teacher, visit the school and decide this question, and tell your child that you will not pay attention to the assessment on this subject.
Children in senior grades face the most in school with aggression and misunderstanding from their peers.
But the main reason for not wanting to study is meaningless attendance of uninteresting classes.
In many cases, children already know what they want to do, and who they will be. Almost all parents invite tutors to additional classes and attend necessary courses, therefore all useless lessons become boring for them.
At this age, there are many hobbies for various sports, an interest in music and dancing is what they really like, and school is already a minor hobby.
If you see that your child does not have a craving for learning, he constantly thinks and dreams about something, come up ask him, find out what he lives and interests.
He should know that parents are interested not only in his grades, but also in himself. Support any of his achievements, give useful recommendations. It is important that you maintain contact and trust with the child.
Teenagers will benefit from self-determination exercises “My life story”, “Make a plan for future affairs”, “Twenty desires”, “My achievements”.
At any age, you can explain to a child why he is studying, because school knowledge will help him achieve success in life and in the future. Most importantly, remember that it is not your child who is going to school. Let him try on the role of the student. After all, it is still not possible to know all the knowledge in the world, let your children be not only developed, but also happy! All the best!
How to teach a child to learn, see the following video.
Often fairy tale therapy and multi-therapy are often very effective.